"Gravity" conspiracies..

"Gravity" :- Not too long ago an apple landed on Newton's head and he loudly announced that there exists a force known as "Gravity"!!!

Now...what's tinkering me are..things like..what if we don't have "Gravity"?...and at the first place why the heck Newton called it "Gravity"?...could'nt he name it something else?...what actually prompted him to name it "Gravity" only..?

Or probably it dose'nt even exist at all..it's just that the apple dropped so hard that Newton lost his mind and invented this whole thing. Things do go up too.. you know... ;)

In that case...it would be an irrelevant thing to ask...the real question I should be bothering then should be: Is it gravity that pulls us or an invisible layer in the clouds that pushes us...???

But, I personally think..."Gravity" is like Matrix...you have to believe it really bad!

whatever it is..but for sure..."Gravity" is an *undue attraction*...and that might explain some of the behaviorals...:
---->I'm feeling an *undue attraction* towards girl A...that's "Gravity"!
---->I'm feeling an *undue attraction* towards girl B...that's "Gravity" again!!
---->And therefore...I'm revolving around both of them in an orbit that is proportional to the force of attraction and the period around each tends to half an year....[We'll call it kepler's law of heartly motion.] :)

Things that occurred..
-> without "Gravity" people would *fall* upwards...
-> jaws would'nt drop at sights of hot chics...
-> and obiously belts would prove to be useless...
-> you would'nt need RED BULL to get wings... ;)
-> without "Gravity" girls won't need a bra!!!
-> if we wont have gravity then guys wont be able to get laid ! and we *do not want that*!...CHEERS! to gravity and whatsoever to everyone else! ]
-> uncles would stop worrying about premature ejaculations [**needs citation**]
-> men would have high-pitched voices as their balls would'nt drop..
-> all the men would have Dali moustaches...
-> Without gravity your shit wont drop...and so if you'r kinda constipated...you might need a lil more of "Gravity"...
-> just imagine oceans without gravity...would be easy for birds to eat fish...
-> might be difficult to cook without "Gravity"...
-> I guess without gravity...marriage would mean getting magnets to stick bride and the groom together for life...or probably binding them with a belt or something. Noone would like that!
-> No "Gravity" might also mean no clothes actually....
Proof:
----->No "Gravity" ---> lot of randomness. (like..no orbits, and all other crap..etc..etc)
----->Lot of randomness ---> lot of freedom.
----->Lot of freedom ---> lot of possibilities.
----->Lot of possibilities --> lot of fun.
----->Lot of fun ---> lot of babes.
----->and there's no fun when babes have clothes... :)
You might argue..why do we see Astronauts wearing spacesuits traveling to the space(no "Gravity" zones)...probably it's not a spacesuit...It's just an enclosure for the pixies...astronauts are really/actually nude inside the spacesuit... :)

Newton actually used many names for gravity, including his preferred nomenclature, "apple-falling-down-thing". But...unfortunately...when Newton later tried to market Apple-Falling-Down-Thing Knives, the rather silly name ...caused them to not sell well owing to the lack of catchy brand name. So... he later referred "Gravity" as "->", which proved difficult to pronounce...and a whistling sound that decreased in pitch followed by a thudding noise made with the lips. This again proved difficult to write....and he ended up calling it "gravy", as in "if I can ever shift these bloody "->" Knives I'll be on the gravy train", which later became known as "Gravity" (as we know in now) due to a problem with the book publishing typesetters....
----> rather..if we didn't have "Gravity"...we wouldn't have "Gravity" knives [or any kind of knife for the matter]...and clearly we need knives to cut up our apples so it's a bit of a circular argument .

In simple words..probably, because after thinking about it gravely he could'nt come up with a grave enough solution..and too much graving led to the word "Gravity".. :P

Whatever it is...apples have been falling down ever since eve ate one of them...so to cover up the whole conspiracy...Newton came up with this "Gravity" thing...

May be there are some more "*grave* conspiracies around...then this stoopid "Gravity" conspiracy ...who knows!

This whole idea occured to me and had to work a bit for this post..(that includes google'ing around a bit, some of the wikipedias)..

And yes you are taking it right..two posts in a day means I have nothing better to do today...


Feel free to comment out your idea for "what if we don't have "Gravity"?" ...