Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Grand Theory of 'ASS'

This weekend I was in a supermarket and I noticed that almost all of the middle-aged women had big asses while a corresponding number of middle-aged men had little or no ass to speak of. And it got me wondering: is there some cosmic ass balance that needs to be preserved? Is ass-size a zero-sum game?

After chastising myself for looking at middle-aged asses, another thought occurred to me: is there a direct link between male ass loss and female ass gain? In other words, are men's asses emitting some ass particle or ass wave that gets collected by women's asses? Are we surrounded by these butt particles or waves, travelling invisibly three feet off the ground? Would tin foil underpants negate this effect?

No comments: